Life Imitates Art

There's a full-blown modern adaptation of Animal Farm playing out on TV right now.

The reality show Pirate Master (think Survivor on a pirate ship) features teams of "pirates" in a swashbuckling contest which will ultimately end in a million-dollar buried treasure. Smaller treasures are found each week, and the current Pirate Captain has the option of taking half the treasure for himself, which he is entitled to do, or dividing the money any other way he sees fit.

In the first weeks of the show, Captain Joe Don kept his half of the money, leaving the rest of the crew with little to nothing. He also behaved rather piggishly, lording his extra rations and posh living quarters over the rest of the crew. One other crew member, Louie, was particularly rankled by Joe Don's behavior. At first, he complained mostly about the unfairness of it all. Joe Don should be splitting the money evenly among the crew members. Everyone was working harder than Joe Don. Why should Joe Don get the best sleeping quarters and more food? But very quickly, Louie's somewhat reasonable objections became nothing more than a personal vendetta against Joe Don. When Joe Don's team inevitably lost and Louie became Captain, Louie proclaimed it his "mission in life" to get rid of Joe Don.

At first, Louie's reign on the ship was exactly as he promised. He split the money and the food evenly, and life on the ship was more lighthearted. But now Louie is quickly realizing that the treasures they find are not just prizes to be stored away until they go home. The money has definite uses on the ship. Contestants have used their gold to buy votes, bid on an official pardon (like the Immunity Idol in Survivor), and "hire" other players to spy on the crew. Joe Don is looking pretty smart for keeping that pile of doubloons.

So what is becoming of Louie the Liberator, who saved them all from the tyrannical Joe Don? "I gotta tell you," Louie says, "I will take more on the next round. The Captain does deserve more." He adds quickly, "But if he takes more than two shares, he's greedy."

Apparently, some Pirates are more equal than others.

The Hall Legend lives on...at Hogwarts

I just had to let everyone know that I got an O (Outstanding) on my Grade 3 W.O.M.B.A.T. test, taken a few weeks ago on J. K. Rowling's web site. It was not an easy test, as it did not simply test knowledge of the Harry Potter universe. There were quite a few questions for which you could do nothing but make intuitive guesses, based on what you know of the "Wizarding world." There were also a few questions that were hard to answer, not knowing if they were looking for the Dumbledore-approved answer or the Ministry-approved answer! Here's an example:

12. Which TWO of the following policies do you think would best serve the Ministry of Magic in its fight against the Dark Arts?
a. Destroy all Dark Arts spellbooks
b. Unforgivable Curses to be taught from year 1 at Hogwarts
c. Outlaw sale of all goods that can be used in the Dark Arts
d. Automatic life sentences in Azkaban for all convicted of Dark Arts crimes
e. Improve Ministry of Magic Public Information Services
f. Lift jinx on post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts
g. Persuade Boy Who Lived to front anti-Dark Arts publicity campaign

I know I picked 'f,' but I can't remember the second choice I picked (maybe 'e'?). Anyway, it was fun. I missed the Grade 1 W.O.M.B.A.T., but took Grade 2 and got an A (Acceptable), so this was a considerable improvement. How sad is it that I was nervous when I opened the the little virtual envelope? Hermione would be proud...

More Accurate than Sybill Trelawney

This is fun, and a little eerie in its accuracy. I managed to stump it on some very obscure things (such as specific people or books only mentioned once), but have only beat it on one thing I would qualify as "fair" (Eeylops Owl Emporium). It guessed correctly on things as varied and specific as the Irish National Quidditch Team, Luna's butterbeer cork necklace, Merchieftainess Mercus, and the Golden Egg from the Second Task. And that's even with a lot of what I would consider wasted questions on its part (such as asking "Are you a wizard?" when you've already told it you're thinking of a place).

One thing I think they should get rid of, however, is the flashing marquee at the top that shows the "thought process" of the game as it sorts through the possible guesses. I think it gives away too much of the sorting process the computer program goes through to arrive at the correct answer, and actually takes away some of the amazement of just seeing the right person, place or thing pop up on the screen without any hint that the game is about to get it right. I would have been much more impressed by the game coming up with "Luna's butterbeer cork necklace," for example, if I hadn't seen it flashing at the top several times before the end of the game.

Anyway, the game is fun, at times amazing, and extremely addictive. Give it a try!

Bizarre...

I find this site somewhat inappropriate and disturbing. It's sort of the Harry Potter equivalent of saying, "Come design your own KKK mask, and we'll all vote on the best ones! It'll be fun!"

A Kinder, Gentler "War"

Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes Non-Violent Politically Correct War by University Games. Unlike the real game of War, in which the object is to wipe your opponent off the map by taking all his cards, the object of Non-Violent Politically Correct War is to actually get rid of all your cards. Apparently, your enemy will use them more wisely than you will. The Joker (who has all the weapons) is the weakest card in the deck. And when "battles" of similarly-ranked cards occur, players "cooperate" by trading their decks before engaging in battle. Apparently, the cards "stress unity, diversity, love, and peace." Pardon me while I throw up.

Laurie and Amy to the Rescue!

Mom, Amy, Chris and I had a great time at Disneyland on Sunday. Here we are, saving the universe from Evil Robots.

Too Bizarre Not To Share

May I present, the Armpit Orchestra...

A Shower of Good Fortune

Guess how my day began??

I got a notice on my door yesterday that they were going to replace my water heater. Hooray, right? I can finally take a normal shower and not worry about running out of hot water. So, this morning they show up and start their work, and I'm in the kitchen making my lunch, and I hear this noise that sounds like the shower running.

I'm thinking to myself, "I'm really glad the bathroom is neat, because I didn't know they had to run the shower," when I hear the guy say, "Oh, $#!%!!!"

Not a good sign.

I rush to the hallway and see one of the other guys looking at me like, "Oh great, the tenant would have to be here for this," as he rushes outside, and I hear the first guy say, "I swear I turned it off." There's a steadily growing puddle of water in front of the water heater closet, and the inside--which also includes the air conditioner--is completely drenched.

I have to go to work now, and leave them to finish. What will I find when I return? What new growths of mold and mildew? What lovely new odors? What new stains on my hallway carpet? Only time and the heat of the Fresno summer will tell.

I'm off to make starwheels...