Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Why I Have a Little Crush On You-Know-Who

by Laurie Hall (with acknowledgments to Sally Kohn, who presented such an easy target)

I know I’m a Muggle and he’d probably have me killed. But still, the guy speaks some blunt truths about Scrimgeour and Harry Potter that make me swoon…

Okay, I admit it. Part of it is that he’s sort of hot. Possibly hot enough to make me take a Kwikspell course and get a tattoo on my arm. I think he kind of looks like Ralph Fiennes. Sort of. With bad teeth and a more reptilian nose. But that’s not all…


I want to be very clear. There are certainly many things about You-Know-Who that I abhor—murdering of dissidents and Muggles, persecution of werewolves, purging of half-bloods, and, in general, stifling democracy. Even still, I can’t help but be turned on by his frank rhetoric calling out the horrors of Harry Potter, the Scrimgeour administration and, for that matter, generations of Ministry policy preceding.

Recall that, back in June, You-Know-Who sent an owl to Minister for Magic Scrimgeour:
For some time now, I have been thinking, how can one justify the undeniable contradictions that exist… Can one be a supporter of Harry Potter, the great defender of Dumbledore,

Feel obliged to respect Muggle rights,

Present liberalism as a civilization model,

Announce one’s opposition to the use of the Unforgivable Curses,

Adopt “Constant Vigilance” as his slogan,

And finally, work towards the establishment of a unified international magical community,

But at the same time,

Call for the attack of Death Eaters. The lives, reputations and possessions of people destroyed and on the slight chance of the presence of a few Death Eaters in a village, city, or convoy for example, the entire village, city or convoy attacked.

He goes on:

Because of the possibility of the existence of a “weapon” in the Department of Mysteries, it is unlawfully surveilled, infiltrated, at least one wizard killed, its infrastructure and architecture destroyed, the sanctity of private prophecies of citizens broken, and important research pushed back perhaps 50 years. At what price? Hundreds of thousands of galleons spent from the treasury of one country and certain other countries and several men and women—many of them very young—put in harm’s way, whisked away from family and loved ones, their hands stained with the blood of others, subjected to so much psychological pressure that those returning home suffer depression; while some are killed and their bodies handed to their families.

You-Know-Who, it would appear, cares more about Hogwarts students than Scrimgeour, Dumbledore, or even Harry Potter.

There are prisoners in Azkaban that have not been tried, have no legal representation, their families cannot see them and are obviously kept in a strange place outside their own country. There is no international monitoring of their conditions and fate. No one knows whether they are prisoners, POWs, accused or criminals. I could not correlate the abduction of a person, and him or her being kept in secret prisons, with the provisions of any judicial system. For that matter, I fail to understand how such actions correspond to the values outlined in the beginning of this letter, i.e. the views of Dumbledore, human rights and liberal values.

Again, You-Know-Who, who has flagrantly trounced due process and the rule of law time and time again, is still way ahead of Scrimgeour on this point, too.

He then goes on to say that even if many Muggles and half-bloods perished when he originally came to power (a point he concedes in his letter), that doesn’t give Britain the right to displace and terrorize Pure-Bloods. He doesn’t call for violence against half-bloods. He calls for ending violence against Pure-Bloods.

He takes up the charge of other communities struggling for freedom and justice:

Don’t the giants have the right to ask why their elected governments are being opposed and coup leaders supported? Or, why must they constantly be threatened and live in fear?

The goblins of Britain are hard-working, creative and talented. They can play an important and valuable role in providing for the needs of wizardkind and contribute to its material and magical progress. Poverty and hardship among the goblins are preventing this from happening. Don’t they have the right to ask why their enormous wealth—including armour and weaponry—is being looted, despite the fact that they need it more than others?

Again, do such actions correspond to the teachings of Dumbledore and the tenets of wizard rights, and the rights of other magical creatures?

He seems to extend genuine condolences for the death of Albus Dumbledore:

Dumbledore’s death was a horrendous incident. The killing of innocents is always deplorable and appalling. My followers and I immediately declared our disgust with the perpetrator and offered our condolences to the bereaved and expressed our sympathies.

And yes, he hints at a conspiracy theory that Ministry intelligence forces, as well as others, may have been involved or complicit—but it’s not a huge departure from the findings of the Daily Prophet and our collective recognition that Harry Potter may have got away clean.

You-Know-Who also pins the tail on the Daily Prophet:

After my return, instead of healing and tending to the emotional wounds of the survivors and the British wizarding community, the Daily Prophet only intensified the climate of fear and insecurity—some constantly talked about the possibility of new attacks and kept the people in fear. Is that service to the wizarding community of Britain? British witches and wizards lived in constant fear of fresh attacks that could come at any moment and in any place. They felt insecure in the street, in their place of work and at home. Who would be happy with this situation? Why was the media, instead of conveying a feeling of security and providing peace of mind, giving rise to a feeling of insecurity?

He’s accusing the media of being a mouthpiece of Scrimgeour’s warmongering instead of accurately informing the public. Again, this isn’t out there, lunatic, flaming anti-Harry Potter rhetoric. This is simply a powerful and accurate critique of the Ministry—a critique that the Scrimgeour administration would rather silence. Perhaps the Ministry’s campaign against You-Know-Who—just like its previous campaign against Grindelwald and others—isn’t as much about whether he’s a danger to the world. There are plenty of leaders who are more dangerous. And certainly, as Scrimgeour himself illustrates, there are good and bad qualities in all leaders (for the record, Scrimgeour was good on elf rights for a minute).

Could it be that, to Scrimgeour and Harry Potter and their cronies, one of the most dangerous things about You-Know-Who is that he is calling Harry Potter out? And so, if a silencing charm can’t be employed against You-Know-Who, at least he can be discredited. I’m not saying he’s a good guy at all. I’m only saying it’s hard to know the full story when Harry Potter et. al. seem so invested in smearing You-Know-Who—and the Daily Prophet, as we’ve already learned with the Cedric Diggory fiasco, is happy to choose its facts in convenient accordance. Maybe we shouldn’t buy into Potter’s characterization of You-Know-Who as part of his drumbeat escalating toward potential war. Maybe we should listen to You-Know-Who ourselves and sift through what, if anything, is worth hearing.

You-Know-Who ends his letter to Scrimgeour by noting how both their leaderships will be judged by history:

Did we manage to bring peace, security and prosperity for the people or insecurity and unemployment?

Did we intend to establish justice or just support special interest groups, and by forcing many to live in poverty and hardship make a few people rich and powerful?

Did we defend the rights of the underprivileged or ignore them?

Did we defend the rights of all people around the world or impose wars on them, interfere illegally in their affairs, establish hellish prisons and incarcerate some of them?

Did we bring the world peace and security or raise the specter of intimidation and threats?

Did we tell the truth to our people and others around the world, or present an inverted version of it?

Were we on the side of the people or the occupiers and oppressors?

Did we, as leaders, set out to promote rational behavior, logic, ethics, peace, fulfilling obligations, justice, service to the people, prosperity, progress and respect for human dignity; or the force of wands, intimidation, insecurity, disregard for the people, delaying the progress and excellence of other magical peoples, and trample on wizards’ rights?

And finally, they will judge us on whether or not we remained true to our main task—to serve Wizardkind, and the traditions of our ancestors, whose noble blood runs through our veins.

It’s striking when a leader with an abysmal record for Muggle rights is the one championing the rights of the poor and oppressed to Scrimgeour, who claims to be on the side of Harry Potter, the “Chosen One.” Dangerous indeed—certainly to the status quo he critiques.

Monday, when You-Know-Who speaks at the Ministry in London, I’ll be listening. Maybe with a bottle of wine and some soft music playing in the background. If I can get past the fact that, as a Muggle, he’d probably have me killed, I’ll try to listen for some truth.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Monday, September 17, 2007

Avast, there, mateys!


Talk Like a Pirate shirt

Arrr, har's me entry int' the "Talk Like a Pirate Day" contest at Zazzle.com. I only heard 'bout it in th' last three hours o' the contest, so 'twas a rush job, but me thinks tis' kind o' cute. Click har t' see all the entries, and har t' vote fer mine, shiver me timbers! (The votes don't count fer who wins, though.)

Ahoy, 'twasn't a requirement t' actually go with the "Talk Like a Pirate" theme (the designs could just be piratey), but me thinks I deserves extra points for bein' one o' the only ones who actually did!

Aye, remember, Talk Like a Pirate Day is this Wednesday, September 19, gar!

(This post was translated with the Talk Like a Pirate Day Pirate Translator)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Marcia, Marcia, Mar...um...Julie!

Apparently, the 70's are now "History," according to the American Girl doll company. Here's a picture of the new doll, Julie, and her friend Ivy. They would be about ten years older than I am, I'm guessing.Oh, the fantastically hideous 70's clothes! I feel like I'm looking at the Brady Bunch, or a classic Disney movie!

Julie's accessories are great, too. Who wouldn't want this record player that actually works, and tape recorder that really records your voice:
Or, the piece-de-resistance, the doll-sized Quick Curl Barbie Beauty Center styling head!!


I'm just waiting for the 80's doll...