Laurie Hall and the Golden Ticket, Part 1

A couple of months ago, I was on my way to work when I got a call on my cell phone that said "Unknown." I began to get a little fluttery feeling in my stomach. No one ever calls me who is "unknown," and I knew it was around the time when the winners of a contest I had entered earlier that summer would be contacted. I braced myself and answered the phone, and, just as I suspected, the woman on the other end was from Scholastic Books. I had just won two tickets to see J. K. Rowling read from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at Carnegie Hall in New York City, and have my book signed!! Rowling rarely comes to the United States to sign books, so this was a very special prize. On this tour, she would speak and sign books for school kids in three U.S. cities (L.A., New Orleans, and NYC), but would only do a public book signing for the 1,000 people (and their guests) who won this contest. A Golden Ticket, indeed!


After I pulled over so I wouldn't crash into anyone, the lady also told me that the prize was only the tickets--I would have to come up with airfare and accomodations. She noticed that I was from California, and told me that she knew it would not be an inexpensive trip, and I could think about it and get back to her. After first determining that she was not, in fact, crazy, I assured her that I would find a way to get there, and I accepted the tickets.


It was torture to decide what to do with the second ticket. Practically everyone I knew would have loved to go. In the end, however, I decided to take my Mom. She really needed the vacation, really wanted to go, and above all, she was here (we got the legal packet with only about a day to have it notarized and sent back to Scholastic's office in NYC!).



Although we would be given copies of Deathly Hallows at the book signing, my Mom and I both decided to buy copies of the special edition to be signed. I certainly don't plan to sell my book, but I'm sure the value is greater having a signature on this more rare edition. I made all the travel arrangements, including a hotel right across the street from Carnegie Hall (which proved highly useful later!), and we were all set to go!


Coming up next: Our trip to New York

Laurie Meets the Delegation from China

Today we had a delegation of Chinese businessmen and businesswomen visit the Planetarium. They had not told us what show they wanted to see, but we had a Christmas party here last night, and our holiday show was already set up, so we decided to just set it back to the beginning and show them that, thinking that it would be visually interesting even if some of them couldn't understand the words.

Dr. White did his usual introduction, telling a little about the show, while their guide translated: it shows the wintertime sky and points out several constellations, tells about the cause of the seasons and the meaning of the solstice, tells about several winter holidays and customs, and finally tells a bit about the Star of Bethlehem and the Christmas Story.

At the mention of the Christmas Story, the interpreter got a very puzzled look on his face. "What do you mean by 'The Christmas Story,'" he asked.

At this point, I'm thinking. Okay, there are several possibilities, here. Does he really not know what we're talking about? Has he never heard of the Christmas Story? Is that actually possible? Or is he unsure how to translate it? Or is he unwilling to tranlate it, and starting to worry that he's brought his countrymen to the enemy to be subjected to crazy Christian American propaganda??

So Dr. White says, very calmly, "It's the story of the birth of baby Jesus. There was a special star seen in the sky at that time."

He still seemed slightly puzzled, but he did seem to be able to translate this. And they seemed to enjoy the show. But I'm still burning with curiosity about what was actually going through his head.

And I'd really love to know what he actually said to them in Chinese...

Our Taxpayer Dollars at Work...

I think something is a little bit wrong with the way the public schools spend their money. Case in point: a conversation I just had with an upcoming visitor to the Planetarium:

Teacher: It's just $2.50 per person, right?

Me: I'll have to have Kathy talk to you about that. Your show is at 5:00, and we usually charge more for night-time shows. She'll know if a different price was quoted to you.

Teacher: Oh, it's okay. We have a ton of money we have to spend. In fact, if you could charge us $10 a person, that would be great!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Dessicated Grapes

How did I not know this was going on??! Apparently, while I was at work or something, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Harrison Ford, and Shia LaBeouf were a mere few miles away filming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull--right here in Fresno!! They dressed up Chandler Airport to serve the dual purpose of airports from 1957 Connecticut and Mexico City, bringing in period cars and aircraft, including a biplane.

They also filmed a scene at the Dos Palos airfield, which has a WWII-era hangar. They let people watch, and everything. I'm so bummed I missed going over there to stand all day in the sun and act like a crazy fan. Bummer. But hey, the coolest part? That's the airport where I took my first solo flight, so now I can say I landed at the same airport as Indiana Jones!

Why I Have a Little Crush On You-Know-Who

by Laurie Hall (with acknowledgments to Sally Kohn, who presented such an easy target)

I know I’m a Muggle and he’d probably have me killed. But still, the guy speaks some blunt truths about Scrimgeour and Harry Potter that make me swoon…

Okay, I admit it. Part of it is that he’s sort of hot. Possibly hot enough to make me take a Kwikspell course and get a tattoo on my arm. I think he kind of looks like Ralph Fiennes. Sort of. With bad teeth and a more reptilian nose. But that’s not all…


I want to be very clear. There are certainly many things about You-Know-Who that I abhor—murdering of dissidents and Muggles, persecution of werewolves, purging of half-bloods, and, in general, stifling democracy. Even still, I can’t help but be turned on by his frank rhetoric calling out the horrors of Harry Potter, the Scrimgeour administration and, for that matter, generations of Ministry policy preceding.

Recall that, back in June, You-Know-Who sent an owl to Minister for Magic Scrimgeour:

For some time now, I have been thinking, how can one justify the undeniable contradictions that exist… Can one be a supporter of Harry Potter, the great defender of Dumbledore,

Feel obliged to respect Muggle rights,

Present liberalism as a civilization model,

Announce one’s opposition to the use of the Unforgivable Curses,

Adopt “Constant Vigilance” as his slogan,

And finally, work towards the establishment of a unified international magical community,

But at the same time,

Call for the attack of Death Eaters. The lives, reputations and possessions of people destroyed and on the slight chance of the presence of a few Death Eaters in a village, city, or convoy for example, the entire village, city or convoy attacked.

He goes on:

Because of the possibility of the existence of a “weapon” in the Department of Mysteries, it is unlawfully surveilled, infiltrated, at least one wizard killed, its infrastructure and architecture destroyed, the sanctity of private prophecies of citizens broken, and important research pushed back perhaps 50 years. At what price? Hundreds of thousands of galleons spent from the treasury of one country and certain other countries and several men and women—many of them very young—put in harm’s way, whisked away from family and loved ones, their hands stained with the blood of others, subjected to so much psychological pressure that those returning home suffer depression; while some are killed and their bodies handed to their families.

You-Know-Who, it would appear, cares more about Hogwarts students than Scrimgeour, Dumbledore, or even Harry Potter.

There are prisoners in Azkaban that have not been tried, have no legal representation, their families cannot see them and are obviously kept in a strange place outside their own country. There is no international monitoring of their conditions and fate. No one knows whether they are prisoners, POWs, accused or criminals. I could not correlate the abduction of a person, and him or her being kept in secret prisons, with the provisions of any judicial system. For that matter, I fail to understand how such actions correspond to the values outlined in the beginning of this letter, i.e. the views of Dumbledore, human rights and liberal values.

Again, You-Know-Who, who has flagrantly trounced due process and the rule of law time and time again, is still way ahead of Scrimgeour on this point, too.

He then goes on to say that even if many Muggles and half-bloods perished when he originally came to power (a point he concedes in his letter), that doesn’t give Britain the right to displace and terrorize Pure-Bloods. He doesn’t call for violence against half-bloods. He calls for ending violence against Pure-Bloods.

He takes up the charge of other communities struggling for freedom and justice:

Don’t the giants have the right to ask why their elected governments are being opposed and coup leaders supported? Or, why must they constantly be threatened and live in fear?

The goblins of Britain are hard-working, creative and talented. They can play an important and valuable role in providing for the needs of wizardkind and contribute to its material and magical progress. Poverty and hardship among the goblins are preventing this from happening. Don’t they have the right to ask why their enormous wealth—including armour and weaponry—is being looted, despite the fact that they need it more than others?

Again, do such actions correspond to the teachings of Dumbledore and the tenets of wizard rights, and the rights of other magical creatures?

He seems to extend genuine condolences for the death of Albus Dumbledore:

Dumbledore’s death was a horrendous incident. The killing of innocents is always deplorable and appalling. My followers and I immediately declared our disgust with the perpetrator and offered our condolences to the bereaved and expressed our sympathies.

And yes, he hints at a conspiracy theory that Ministry intelligence forces, as well as others, may have been involved or complicit—but it’s not a huge departure from the findings of the Daily Prophet and our collective recognition that Harry Potter may have got away clean.

You-Know-Who also pins the tail on the Daily Prophet:

After my return, instead of healing and tending to the emotional wounds of the survivors and the British wizarding community, the Daily Prophet only intensified the climate of fear and insecurity—some constantly talked about the possibility of new attacks and kept the people in fear. Is that service to the wizarding community of Britain? British witches and wizards lived in constant fear of fresh attacks that could come at any moment and in any place. They felt insecure in the street, in their place of work and at home. Who would be happy with this situation? Why was the media, instead of conveying a feeling of security and providing peace of mind, giving rise to a feeling of insecurity?

He’s accusing the media of being a mouthpiece of Scrimgeour’s warmongering instead of accurately informing the public. Again, this isn’t out there, lunatic, flaming anti-Harry Potter rhetoric. This is simply a powerful and accurate critique of the Ministry—a critique that the Scrimgeour administration would rather silence. Perhaps the Ministry’s campaign against You-Know-Who—just like its previous campaign against Grindelwald and others—isn’t as much about whether he’s a danger to the world. There are plenty of leaders who are more dangerous. And certainly, as Scrimgeour himself illustrates, there are good and bad qualities in all leaders (for the record, Scrimgeour was good on elf rights for a minute).

Could it be that, to Scrimgeour and Harry Potter and their cronies, one of the most dangerous things about You-Know-Who is that he is calling Harry Potter out? And so, if a silencing charm can’t be employed against You-Know-Who, at least he can be discredited. I’m not saying he’s a good guy at all. I’m only saying it’s hard to know the full story when Harry Potter et. al. seem so invested in smearing You-Know-Who—and the Daily Prophet, as we’ve already learned with the Cedric Diggory fiasco, is happy to choose its facts in convenient accordance. Maybe we shouldn’t buy into Potter’s characterization of You-Know-Who as part of his drumbeat escalating toward potential war. Maybe we should listen to You-Know-Who ourselves and sift through what, if anything, is worth hearing.

You-Know-Who ends his letter to Scrimgeour by noting how both their leaderships will be judged by history:

Did we manage to bring peace, security and prosperity for the people or insecurity and unemployment?

Did we intend to establish justice or just support special interest groups, and by forcing many to live in poverty and hardship make a few people rich and powerful?

Did we defend the rights of the underprivileged or ignore them?

Did we defend the rights of all people around the world or impose wars on them, interfere illegally in their affairs, establish hellish prisons and incarcerate some of them?

Did we bring the world peace and security or raise the specter of intimidation and threats?

Did we tell the truth to our people and others around the world, or present an inverted version of it?

Were we on the side of the people or the occupiers and oppressors?

Did we, as leaders, set out to promote rational behavior, logic, ethics, peace, fulfilling obligations, justice, service to the people, prosperity, progress and respect for human dignity; or the force of wands, intimidation, insecurity, disregard for the people, delaying the progress and excellence of other magical peoples, and trample on wizards’ rights?

And finally, they will judge us on whether or not we remained true to our main task—to serve Wizardkind, and the traditions of our ancestors, whose noble blood runs through our veins.

It’s striking when a leader with an abysmal record for Muggle rights is the one championing the rights of the poor and oppressed to Scrimgeour, who claims to be on the side of Harry Potter, the “Chosen One.” Dangerous indeed—certainly to the status quo he critiques.

Monday, when You-Know-Who speaks at the Ministry in London, I’ll be listening. Maybe with a bottle of wine and some soft music playing in the background. If I can get past the fact that, as a Muggle, he’d probably have me killed, I’ll try to listen for some truth.

It be a fine day to talk Piratey!

Video made and hosted by: LoadingReadyRun.com.

Avast, there, mateys!

Arrr, har's me entry int' the "Talk Like a Pirate Day" contest at Zazzle.com. I only heard 'bout it in th' last three hours o' the contest, so 'twas a rush job, but me thinks tis' kind o' cute. Click har t' see all the entries, and har t' vote fer mine, shiver me timbers! (The votes don't count fer who wins, though.)

Ahoy, 'twasn't a requirement t' actually go with the "Talk Like a Pirate" theme (the designs could just be piratey), but me thinks I deserves extra points for bein' one o' the only ones who actually did!

Aye, remember, Talk Like a Pirate Day is this Wednesday, September 19, gar!

(This post was translated with the Talk Like a Pirate Day Pirate Translator)

Marcia, Marcia, Mar...um...Julie!

Apparently, the 70's are now "History," according to the American Girl doll company. Here's a picture of the new doll, Julie, and her friend Ivy. They would be about ten years older than I am, I'm guessing.Oh, the fantastically hideous 70's clothes! I feel like I'm looking at the Brady Bunch, or a classic Disney movie!

Julie's accessories are great, too. Who wouldn't want this record player that actually works, and tape recorder that really records your voice:
Or, the piece-de-resistance, the doll-sized Quick Curl Barbie Beauty Center styling head!!

I'm just waiting for the 80's doll...

Introducing The Silver Stag!

Come see my Cafepress store, The Silver Stag, full of fun Harry Potter designs!

If Disney did Harry Potter

I don't know how I came across this website, but I spent a delightful hour looking through this person's Disney-animation-style drawings of characters and scenes from the Harry Potter books. They're fantastic! Be sure to check out the extensive Prisoner of Azkaban section, which is almost like a storyboard of the whole book.


When you have a little time, take a look through the website. You can look by book or by each individual character. I especially like the large amount of Lupin drawings. He looks much more like I picture him here than he does in the Warner Bros. movies. Enjoy!

Lupin and Neville discussing the boggart:



Dumbledore with a young Tom Riddle:




The artist protesting a shocking lack of Lupin in later books (notice how they all appear to be female...):

Seen Online...

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

You know.

You-know-who?

AVADA KEDAVRA!

Harry's Here!

Finally, the time had come! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would be in our hands within mere hours. All the waiting was over, and we were about to find out EVERYTHING we had waited so long to discover.


But first, the party! Suzie and I prepared with great enthusiasm. We both have Hogwarts uniforms from Whimsic Alley in L.A. (I highly recommend a trip, if you've never been there), Suzie's from Ravenclaw house, and mine from Gryffindor. Here we are in our uniforms, with wands I found at Borders the night before. Since you can't tell, I must note here that the wands make a magical noise at the push of a button, and the tip of Suzie's lights up in blue and mine in red!

We couldn't resist a friendly duel before we left:



We both also wore our time turners, in case you can't tell what we have around our necks. I brought along a half-finished crocheted elf-hat, and my S.P.E.W. collection tin, complete with sad little solitary galleon someone donated:

We had fun at the party, although they didn't seem to have as much going on as they did at the previous two Borders Harry Potter parties I went to. They had a costume contest, which seemed to be a bit of a joke. The winners had pretty lame costumes, and several people with AMAZING costumes were completely overlooked, such as this woman, dressed as Sibyll Trelawney (with her adorable Gryffindor daughters):

There was also a woman who WAS Molly Weasley, and, my absolute favorite, this fantastic Delores Umbridge costume:


The winner of the contest was pretty amazing, though. He didn't even really come in a costume, unless you count the glasses and the scar drawn on his forehead. He just looked exactly like Daniel Radcliffe:


Around 11:00, Borders announced that they would have employees roving the store with clip boards giving out special prizes. I knew this was my chance. I walked straight up to the first person I saw with a clip board and said, "Ask me some some questions." He had no idea who he was dealing with, obviously, because the first question he asked me was, "What is the spell used to light up the wand tip?" Please. He tried to find a hard one after that, but when I knew the name of the ice cream parlour in Diagon Alley without missing a beat, I think he started to realize he would have to dig a little deeper. He spent several minutes looking for another question. He kept saying, "No, you'll get that...no, that's too easy..." Finally, he found one he thought would stump me. He said, "If you can get this one, you'll get a really special prize." The question was, "What is the 'tickling spell'?" Too easy. (Do you know the answer?) I even knew exactly which scene in which book it was used, and who used it, but I didn't tell him that.

My prize was spot #5 in line!! It was the highest spot given to a trivia question winner, as #1 was a raffle prize, and #2-4 went to the costume contest winners. Very cool. I was able to give my #71 to Suzie, who gave her #121 to Steve Bradley and his family, who we had run into there, and who were hundreds and hundreds of spots down the line. Suzie and I went around listening to more trivia questions, and there wasn't a single one I didn't know! Cool? Or sad? You be the judge. I think I just have a good memory. Yeah, that's it... :-)

Suzie and I got some compliments on our costumes--mostly on the time turners. Everyone wanted to know where we got them. A lot of people also did double takes on the Flourish & Blotts bags, and asked where they were from. One girl ahead of me in line, who was one of the costume contest winners, saw my Flourish & Blotts bag and thought it was cool. I gave her one of my extra bookmarks, and she actually came over and hugged me, she was so excited! It was really cute.

Finally, just before midnight, the Borders employees brought the books into the store.


The excitement in the air was palpable. The whole store did a New Years-esque countdown to midnight, and then the buying frenzy began. I would have been out of there in about 10 seconds, except the idiots running things had forgotten to bring in any of the audio version of the book, so I had to wait several minutes for them to go find them and bring them in. So much for my #5. Finally, I bought my book and CD, and headed home for a long night (and next day) of reading. All in all, a very enjoyable, exciting, and above all, fun experience!

Book-Release Morning

I got up early on the morning of July 20th so I could get in line at Borders to get a numbered wristband which would secure my place in line to buy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows later that night. I wanted to be sure to get as low a number as possible so I could get out of the store quickly that night--not only so I could get home and start reading, but also so as few people as possible would have a chance to look at the back of the book and spoil anything. The store opened at 9:00, and when I got there at 8:00, there were already well over 50 people ahead of me.

Some of them had lawn chairs, and had apparently been waiting since the night before. That was more dedication than even I was willing to muster. Several news channels were there filming us and interviewing people. There were a few people in costume, including these girls in front of me, who came as The Unforgivable Curses ("Crucio" is behind the girl on the right):

Suzie came about half an hour later, dressed in her full Ravenclaw uniform (you'll see pictures later). The line was practically back to the movie theater by then, so I traded places with her in case the news people might want to interview her. They did, of course. She was on the news for several minues, during which time they asked her several trivia questions that displayed her knowledge of the Harry Potter books--and their complete lack of it. The very first question they asked her was "What position does Harry play in 'Kidditch'?" Suzie corrected them and answered all their questions correctly, nicely displaying her Ravenclaw brains.

Finally, at 9:00, they started letting us in the store. My wristband was #71--not too bad. But as it turned out, I wouldn't need it after all...

Saying Goodbye to Harry

As I'm finally getting around to sorting through all the pictures I took at the Harry Potter book release party at Borders, I thought I would share the whole experience here, even though it's rather late.

I thought the last Harry Potter book merited a bit of hoopla, so I made a considerable amount of effort preparing for the Big Event. Suzie, Bill, Chris, and I all attended and had a great time.

I'll start, today, with pre-party preparations. I went to the last two book release parties alone, and spent a fair amount of time sitting around and waiting. Not wanting that to happen again, my first idea was for something fun to bring to do while we were waiting. I looked online for a Harry Potter puzzle book, but couldn't find a good one. So, I decided I'd have to make a trip to Diagon Alley. Flourish and Blotts had this great book--Battling Boredom, by Q. Long-Si. It was full of crossword puzzles, anagrams, logic puzzles, word searches, riddles, poems, and even paper and instructions for making an origami Golden Snitch. A great find, I must say.

Flourish and Blotts was kind enough to throw in some great bookmarks, which came in handy later.

Of course, with all those puzzles, we would need something to write with. And what better to write with than a quill? Scrivenshaft's is the only place for quills, so I had to make a trip to Hogsmeade as well.

And, yes, the black one writes in red ink...

While I was in Hogsmeade, I couldn't resist a trip to Honeydukes, the best candy store in the world! I picked up a wide variety of treats, including Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Smoked Dragon Liver, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Exploding Bon-Bons, Licorice Wands, Acid Pops, Jelly Slugs, Sugar Quills, and, of course, Honeyduke's Best Chocolate.

I even got to see them making some fresh Cockroach Clusters. Mmmmm!

All in all, a very productive trip. I'll write more tomorrow about the wait for the book, and the actual Book Release Party itself.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Harry Potter's 27th birthday...and J. K. Rowling's 42nd! Happy Birthday to both of them. Here's an appropriate cake I found online:

Dear Severus

An Entertainment Weekly staff writer wrote the following for the "Goodbye, Harry" issue I received yesterday. WARNING: It contains MAJOR SPOILERS for Deathly Hallows and Half-Blood Prince, so proceed with caution if you haven't read them. Scroll over the invisible text below to read it.

Dear Severus,

I want to express my condolences on your untimely death. Yes, I know we've never met. Additionally, you are fictional. But in the same way you loved Lily Evans and risked everything in her name, I have always loved you. It was your hatred of children that drew me to you--that, and the fact that you'd never reciprocate my feelings (apparently my No. 1 criterion in choosing men). Some saw your Slytherin loyalties and torment of Harry as signs of betrayal, but my faith in you never wavered, not even when Dumbledore's body lay crumpled and lifeless. You were the bravest wizard who ever lived, and I was yours to the snakebitten end. With your final breath, you wanted to gaze into Lily's green eyes. Oh, how I wish my Muggle blues could have sufficed! I could have saved you. Or at least convinced you to wash your hair. Give my best to Alan Rickman.

xoxo,
Whitney

Three Cheers for Mary Grand-Pre!

I was browsing over at The Leaky Cauldron, trying to get over some of my post-Harry melancholy, when I came across their page displaying the book covers from many different editions of the Harry Potter books all over the world. My first thought was, "Wow! Look how many different languages and countries these books are published in!" My second thought was, "Thank God we get the American version!!" Seriously, some of these covers are so bad, they make the books look like a cheap, tacky, dime-a-dozen silly kids' series--at best. Allow me to demonstrate. Here, for example, is the Ukranian cover of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone:

Please, tell me where Dumbledore got his hat! I must know! Oh wait, I see...he's just growing out of the castle.

Here is the Czech version of Philosopher's Stone, in which, apparently, the Sorting Hat is a top hat with giant lips:

But my absolute favorite, I have to say, is this Iranian (Iranian?!) version of Prisoner of Azkaban:

Notice the creepy gargoyle heads on the castle. Notice that Harry looks about 9 years old, and appears to be riding a flying armadillo. But in particular, I ask you to please notice the flying squirrel, the toad, and the tiger. Who are they? How did they come to be there? In Book 5, will Harry show up on Platform 9 3/4 with a tiger padding along behind him, hoping Malfoy won't notice anything funny going on? Or, perhaps, is a toad a grim omen of death in Iranian culture? Who exactly is translating these books? And what, exactly, are they going to do when they get to Book 7...?

Giddy

I just got my confirmation email for my book reservation, complete with a nice little message from Jim Dale, voice of the Harry Potter books. I have my costume all ready, and I'm planning some extra fun little treats for those of us who will be attending (details later, as I don't want to spoil the surprises). Suzie and I will be wearing our Hogwarts uniforms, but we couldn't convince Bill or Chris to do the same (go figure!). Right now we're considering making them wear t-shirts with this "Hogwarts Arithmancy Team" logo I designed for them:

It scares me just a little how excited I am about all this... :-)

Pirate Master Update

Bad British Accent Guy (whose name is--I kid you not--Azmyth) is Captain again, and like Louie, he's decided that sharing is overrated. Long ago, he declared that everything was going to be fair and even, and he did split the money evenly the first two times he was Captain. Now a 60-40 split between officers and crew "sounds about right" to him. We'll see how long that lasts. Meanwhile, the women are grumbling about beating the other team so they can kick the boys out of power and have an all-girl trio of Officers. Ah, reality TV.

Life Imitates Art

There's a full-blown modern adaptation of Animal Farm playing out on TV right now.

The reality show Pirate Master (think Survivor on a pirate ship) features teams of "pirates" in a swashbuckling contest which will ultimately end in a million-dollar buried treasure. Smaller treasures are found each week, and the current Pirate Captain has the option of taking half the treasure for himself, which he is entitled to do, or dividing the money any other way he sees fit.

In the first weeks of the show, Captain Joe Don kept his half of the money, leaving the rest of the crew with little to nothing. He also behaved rather piggishly, lording his extra rations and posh living quarters over the rest of the crew. One other crew member, Louie, was particularly rankled by Joe Don's behavior. At first, he complained mostly about the unfairness of it all. Joe Don should be splitting the money evenly among the crew members. Everyone was working harder than Joe Don. Why should Joe Don get the best sleeping quarters and more food? But very quickly, Louie's somewhat reasonable objections became nothing more than a personal vendetta against Joe Don. When Joe Don's team inevitably lost and Louie became Captain, Louie proclaimed it his "mission in life" to get rid of Joe Don.

At first, Louie's reign on the ship was exactly as he promised. He split the money and the food evenly, and life on the ship was more lighthearted. But now Louie is quickly realizing that the treasures they find are not just prizes to be stored away until they go home. The money has definite uses on the ship. Contestants have used their gold to buy votes, bid on an official pardon (like the Immunity Idol in Survivor), and "hire" other players to spy on the crew. Joe Don is looking pretty smart for keeping that pile of doubloons.

So what is becoming of Louie the Liberator, who saved them all from the tyrannical Joe Don? "I gotta tell you," Louie says, "I will take more on the next round. The Captain does deserve more." He adds quickly, "But if he takes more than two shares, he's greedy."

Apparently, some Pirates are more equal than others.

The Hall Legend lives on...at Hogwarts

I just had to let everyone know that I got an O (Outstanding) on my Grade 3 W.O.M.B.A.T. test, taken a few weeks ago on J. K. Rowling's web site. It was not an easy test, as it did not simply test knowledge of the Harry Potter universe. There were quite a few questions for which you could do nothing but make intuitive guesses, based on what you know of the "Wizarding world." There were also a few questions that were hard to answer, not knowing if they were looking for the Dumbledore-approved answer or the Ministry-approved answer! Here's an example:

12. Which TWO of the following policies do you think would best serve the Ministry of Magic in its fight against the Dark Arts?
a. Destroy all Dark Arts spellbooks
b. Unforgivable Curses to be taught from year 1 at Hogwarts
c. Outlaw sale of all goods that can be used in the Dark Arts
d. Automatic life sentences in Azkaban for all convicted of Dark Arts crimes
e. Improve Ministry of Magic Public Information Services
f. Lift jinx on post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts
g. Persuade Boy Who Lived to front anti-Dark Arts publicity campaign

I know I picked 'f,' but I can't remember the second choice I picked (maybe 'e'?). Anyway, it was fun. I missed the Grade 1 W.O.M.B.A.T., but took Grade 2 and got an A (Acceptable), so this was a considerable improvement. How sad is it that I was nervous when I opened the the little virtual envelope? Hermione would be proud...

More Accurate than Sybill Trelawney

This is fun, and a little eerie in its accuracy. I managed to stump it on some very obscure things (such as specific people or books only mentioned once), but have only beat it on one thing I would qualify as "fair" (Eeylops Owl Emporium). It guessed correctly on things as varied and specific as the Irish National Quidditch Team, Luna's butterbeer cork necklace, Merchieftainess Mercus, and the Golden Egg from the Second Task. And that's even with a lot of what I would consider wasted questions on its part (such as asking "Are you a wizard?" when you've already told it you're thinking of a place).

One thing I think they should get rid of, however, is the flashing marquee at the top that shows the "thought process" of the game as it sorts through the possible guesses. I think it gives away too much of the sorting process the computer program goes through to arrive at the correct answer, and actually takes away some of the amazement of just seeing the right person, place or thing pop up on the screen without any hint that the game is about to get it right. I would have been much more impressed by the game coming up with "Luna's butterbeer cork necklace," for example, if I hadn't seen it flashing at the top several times before the end of the game.

Anyway, the game is fun, at times amazing, and extremely addictive. Give it a try!

Bizarre...

I find this site somewhat inappropriate and disturbing. It's sort of the Harry Potter equivalent of saying, "Come design your own KKK mask, and we'll all vote on the best ones! It'll be fun!"

A Kinder, Gentler "War"

Just when you think you've seen it all, along comes Non-Violent Politically Correct War by University Games. Unlike the real game of War, in which the object is to wipe your opponent off the map by taking all his cards, the object of Non-Violent Politically Correct War is to actually get rid of all your cards. Apparently, your enemy will use them more wisely than you will. The Joker (who has all the weapons) is the weakest card in the deck. And when "battles" of similarly-ranked cards occur, players "cooperate" by trading their decks before engaging in battle. Apparently, the cards "stress unity, diversity, love, and peace." Pardon me while I throw up.

Laurie and Amy to the Rescue!

Mom, Amy, Chris and I had a great time at Disneyland on Sunday. Here we are, saving the universe from Evil Robots.

Too Bizarre Not To Share

May I present, the Armpit Orchestra...

A Shower of Good Fortune

Guess how my day began??

I got a notice on my door yesterday that they were going to replace my water heater. Hooray, right? I can finally take a normal shower and not worry about running out of hot water. So, this morning they show up and start their work, and I'm in the kitchen making my lunch, and I hear this noise that sounds like the shower running.

I'm thinking to myself, "I'm really glad the bathroom is neat, because I didn't know they had to run the shower," when I hear the guy say, "Oh, $#!%!!!"

Not a good sign.

I rush to the hallway and see one of the other guys looking at me like, "Oh great, the tenant would have to be here for this," as he rushes outside, and I hear the first guy say, "I swear I turned it off." There's a steadily growing puddle of water in front of the water heater closet, and the inside--which also includes the air conditioner--is completely drenched.

I have to go to work now, and leave them to finish. What will I find when I return? What new growths of mold and mildew? What lovely new odors? What new stains on my hallway carpet? Only time and the heat of the Fresno summer will tell.

I'm off to make starwheels...

I can't help thinking there's a reason why kids aren't in charge...

It's already that time of year! The networks are posting their fall TV schedules, along with previews of new shows. I took a look at CBS's offerings (including a crime-fighting vampire!), and was intrigued by Kid Nation, their newest reality series. For 40 days, 40 kids from age 8 to 15 will live without adults and try to prove that they can "build a better world for tomorrow." Click the link above to watch a brief preview of the show.

The preview ends with the question, "Can they succeed where adults have failed?" I’m curious to know exactly how they think adults have failed. Do they think the United States has failed as a society? I tend to think our society actually functions remarkably well. Has the world failed as a society? Maybe. But I think it would be pretty easy for adults to succeed if their society consisted entirely of intelligent, attractive, psychologically-screened individuals, all from the same national background, and all of whom are trying to win $20,000 by doing their best on a television show. What would make the show really interesting is if they had little child-moles planted in the group, with instructions to steal from the general store, or constantly filibuster at the Town Meetings, or secede from the group, steal all the root beer, and start their own town. Let’s see them deal with that.

The description of the show on CBS’s web site mentions that the grand finale will feature “an unimaginable test, the biggest awards, and a special surprise for every child.” See? They’re all winners. You know, just like in real life.

Why Survivor is still great television

14 seasons, and still going strong. Survivor has had its ups and downs over the years, but it’s season finales like the one that aired this past Sunday that prove the show has still got it. Intrigue, betrayal, multiple twists and turns, high drama. And one of the most emotional final Tribal Councils I’ve ever seen. Spoilers below, in case you're still planning to watch it.



Survivor Finale – SPOILERS

The intensity of the last two episodes of Survivor: Fiji centered around a deal made between two competitors, Yau-Man and Dreamz (I know--who could make up these names?!). Yau-Man gave the truck he had just won to Dreamz, and in return, Dreamz shook his hand and swore to God that if they should both make it to the final four, and if Dreamz should happen to win Immunity, he would give the Immunity necklace to Yau-Man, thus guaranteeing Yau-Man a spot in the final three.

Dreamz quickly realized that the only way to have his cake and eat it too would be to get rid of Yau-Man in one of the two intervening Tribal Councils before he would have to give up his Immunity to him, which would allow him to keep the truck and keep his Immunity without breaking his word. Dreamz was not able to manage this, and we were treated to many heart-to-heart camera interviews in which Dreamz seemed to have come to terms with the fact that, if he won, he would have to honorably hand over his Immunity to Yau-Man. He even stated that he wanted to try hard to win it, so he would have the honor of handing it over, and showing his son what kind of man he was. Dreamz did win the all-important Immunity necklace, and although he showed some signs of having second thoughts, everyone headed off to Tribal Council with the expectation that Dreamz would fulfill his part of the bargain.

But when the moment of truth came, and everyone--perhaps even Dreamz himself--expected Dreamz to hand over the Immunity necklace, he decided to keep it for himself. It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen, and not just for Yau-Man, who actually took it very well when he consequently got voted out. Everyone was in shock. Dreamz was crying.

The crazy thing is, Dreamz should have known that it was all over for him at that moment. He may have moved up one place in the rankings, but only a fool would believe that he could win after that. Not only was he the “double agent” who sold out three other jury members, but now he had this shameful display to account for. Several of the jury members at Final Tribal council, as well as host Jeff Probst at the reunion show, tried to give Dreamz a chance to admit that he had accepted the deal in good faith and simply changed his mind, but Dreamz tried to play it as if he had been a master player from the beginning, and breaking Yau-Man’s deal was part of his master plan. This did not sit well with anyone on the jury, who could see that this was obviously not the case. While watching the final Tribal Council, I was riveted by the following exchange between Dreamz and Boo, who was voted out just before Yau-Man:

BOO: First of all, I want to tip my hat off to this man, Yau. I think, by far, he was the greatest all-around player. He relied on this man’s word; Dreamz didn’t come through. You can’t make a promise in your heart, and then say, “Oh, well I changed it now.” [Dreamz], when you made that deal with Yau, were you playing him as a game, or were you, as a Christian—and I’m coming to you with this because I believe in you as a Christian—I want to know your Christian answer. Were you playing him when you accepted that truck, or did you come back later and say, “You know what? I gotta play the game now; this is my chance.”

DREAMZ: [spouts a lot of meaningless crapola]

BOO (interrupting, emphatically): Were you playing the game? As a Christian man, I want your Christian word. When you accepted his truck deal, were you making that as the game, or were you making that because you wanted the truck?

DREAMZ: You don’t know. You don’t know what’s on the inside. I was playing the game. It was going to be me or him. And I thought about it, right here, sitting in this chair. What would everybody else do? Would everybody else give their chance up for a million dollars?

BOO (Sad, disgusted): Okay, Dreamz. My opinion? It’s a good try, but I see straight through it. And I still believe in you. But I still believe you’re an immature Christian, and I hope that one day you will be a strong Christian man, and be able to tell the Devil, "Dangle all the money you want in front of me; this Christian is not for sale!"

As strange as it sounds, I think they could have forgiven Dreamz if they had believed his deal had been manipulation from the start. But it was clear the deal was made because he wanted and needed the truck. It was a real-world, honorable deal made in the midst of the game, and when he broke his word, it wasn't simply game-play, it was a breach of honor.

It just goes to show what a difficult line between game and real life the Survivor contestants walk. There's a certain amount of lying and back-stabbing that is seen by all as "part of the game." It may hurt an individual contestant when it causes him to get voted out, but usually all is forgiven by the reunion show at the end of the season. But when the lying and back-stabbing crosses into the real world, as it did with "Jonny Fairplay" and his "dead" grandmother a few seasons back, there is something that makes us cry foul--that makes us believe someone is crossing a line--even if no one is strictly breaking any rules. This deal brought that line into sharper-than-usual focus.

Nemesis

O, when did my life
Become showing eight-year-olds
How to cut paper?

Cool? Or a little scary? You be the judge...

This goes way beyond a Star Trek convention. Check out the weekend long Dueling Competition, which can earn you points for your House (they've invented a whole American school with four houses), Horcrux Hunt, and Masquerade Ball. There's even a Quidditch tournament...

Too, too funny...

Well, J. K. Rowling has said that Jane Austen is her favorite author. I guess this is what would happen if you stuck Harry Potter and Pride & Prejudice in a blender and hit puree...

Does this mean I've seen a Lego minifigure die?

Lego Thestrals:

And a Dolores Umbridge minifigure:

And how cute is the Lego Sirius-head-in-the-fire??